Cyclothymia

Cyclothymia, also called cyclothymic disorder, is a type of chronic mood disorder widely considered to be a milder or subthreshold form of bipolar disorder. Cyclothymia is characterized by numerous extreme mood disturbances, with periods of hypomanic symptoms alternating with periods of mild or moderate depression.
An individual with cyclothymia may feel stable at their baseline level but experience noticeable shifts to an emotional high during hypomanic episodes with symptoms similar to those of mania but less severe, and emotional lows involving depressive symptoms that do not meet the criteria for a major depressive episode. To meet the diagnostic criteria for cyclothymia a person must experience this alternating pattern of emotional highs and lows for a period of at least two years with no more than two consecutive symptom free months. For children and adolescents the duration must be at least one year.^[1]
While diagnosis of cyclothymia is becoming more common, it is not as frequent as that of bipolar disorder. Diagnosis of cyclothymia presupposes absence of a major depressive episode, manic episode or mixed episode, which would qualify the individual for diagnosis of another mood disorder. When such episodes manifest after an initial diagnosis of cyclothymia, the individual may qualify for a diagnosis of bipolar I or bipolar II disorder. Although estimates vary greatly, 15–50% of cases of cyclothymia later fit the diagnostic criteria for bipolar I and/or bipolar II disorder (resulting in a diagnosis of bipolar I or II with cyclothymic features).^[2]
Although the emotional highs and lows of cyclothymia are less extreme than those of bipolar disorder, the symptomatology, longitudinal course, family history and treatment response of cyclothymia are consistent with bipolar spectrum.^[3] Lifetime prevalence of cyclothymic disorder is 0.4–1%. Frequency appears similar in men and women, though women more often seek treatment. Unlike with bipolar I disorder, people with cyclothymia are more likely to be either somewhat or fully productive,^{[citation needed]} and sometimes even hyper-productive.
Cyclothymia is similar to bipolar II disorder in that it presents itself in signature hypomanic episodes. Because hypomania is often associated with exceptionally creative, outgoing, and high-functioning behavior, both conditions are often undiagnosed. As with most of the disorders in the bipolar spectrum, it is the depressive phase that leads most sufferers to get help.

Epiphany

Ya know when you have an epiphany well mine just slapped me-
I need to stop worrying about Karma getting everyone that's done me wrong, and focus on my own.
I'm defeating my own purpose-
I must stop chasing dreams that are no longer my own.
I must stop blaming others for not loving me the way I deserve.
I must demand more of my inner self and not worry so much about what people think about my outer self, that if makes sense.
I've been driving myself crazy trying to figure out what is wrong with me, why I can't keep a relationship-
People need to remember- the one common factor in all failed relationships is... YOU!
Change you and the world will change around you....
Now that my fortune cookie/Hallmark/Karma moment is over- I shall bid you ado-
xoxo

Slapped with the Truth

A good friend of mine wrote this to me in an IM on facebook-
or conversation was about how my ex had my netbook that I foolishly let him borrow and then I was told after I replied to an email of his that he put a thingy on my computer so he could see what I was typing and what not.
Okay- up to the moment:
So, I want my netbook back- "if it fits it ships" and I was- like a fool- letting him use have access to my netflix account. Well, he wasn't even using my netbook, his cousin is, whom I did not give permission to use... but he saw nothing wrong with her using it.
I changed m netflix account on Friday... today (Sunday) I saw in recently watched stuff I didn't watch. So, not 100% if I changed the password, or just typed the same one again- but it usually tells you.. right or he's in my computer and got the password... this is what she said (keep in mind it sounds harsh, but it's what I needed to hear/read)




E: "So basically in his opinion it is okay for me to violate Jaime's trust because she will excuse it and eventually want to talk to me again, but in the meantime I can monitor her however I want"



 

I love this!

Love/Hate

It's so hard to stay mad at someone when you're bipolar- one minute you want to set them on fire and the next you love and miss them so much you cry.
It makes me wonder which feelings are true and or real.
It's hard to trust your gut or heart and you know don't know what feelings are real or the illness.
How do you trust yourself?

Letting go~

I know I've mentioned this before- which is just sad.
But, getting over someone seems like a somewhat simple thing to do.
I find it damn near impossible. I don't know if this is due to my anxiety/bipolar disorder...
of if it's because I really do love this person.
Logically I know I shouldn't love him~
Emotionally- logic means nothing. 

Enough is Enough

Finally putting my foot down~ and not giving in.
I'm kind of proud of myself.